Holiday Peace... of Mind.
The holidays can be a magical winter wonderland of Christmas joy and family togetherness... on a Christmas card. In actuality, most people suffer from increased stresses during the holidays. Routines fly out the door, surplus of foods become rich and irresistible, and increased expectations are unbearable. On top of that, families come together whether or not you want them to. How is a person to manage all that Christmas cheer?
If you're worried about the expectations of others, consider what is most important. Sure, the kids might have a list that fills a notebook, but what they really need is your love and attention. The same goes for others in your life. Attention and caring go farther than any present wrapped in paper. If your attention is spread thin, remember to prioritize those who mean most to you.
12 Feelings of Christmas
Christmas is supposed to be a time of pure joy. "I think there must be something wrong with me, Linus. Christmas is coming, but I'm not happy. I don't feel the way I'm supposed to feel." If you feel like Charlie Brown, you're not alone. Many emotions and situations can leave us feeling less than stellar this season. Just because the calendar turns to December, doesn't mean our troubles and pains are erased. If you're feeling guilty for these feelings you can't feel that sadness, loneliness, or anger itself. Let the feeling come. Cry, shout, and seek comfort in the people around you. Pushing down the feelings or forcing happiness will leave you exhausted and feeling worse.
I've struggled with feeling sad while experiencing happy things in the past. I'd berate myself for feeling sad when I was surrounded by a happy experience. I would compare myself to others in poorer situations and deny the legitimacy of my feelings. It comes down to this, a feeling is a biological, emotional response to your situation, just like a pimple is biological response to the chocolate I devour. I can't stop the pimple, and I can't stop the feeling. What I can do is wash my face and eat less chocolate. I can choose what I think about and focus on. (Or at least get started on this.)
This is the magic I'm still working on: you can feel more than one feeling at once. When I learned that, it felt mind blowing. All my life, multitasking rules as king, but in my emotions, I felt I could only choose one emoji on my face at a time. Instead, I can have a whole pocketful all at once and mix them together. I might be feeling sad, but I can still enjoy my hot cocoa. Shopping might be stressful, but I can laugh a the children begging for presents in line in front of me. That fluidity gives you more peace to experience all feelings that come to you as they come. Sadness becomes mixed with humor, stress, and happiness. It diminishes the sadness a little. If I feel guilty for feeling sad, it only breeds those negative feelings. Best of luck this holiday season on all the feels.
Exponentially Increased Expectations
Christmas is supposed to be a time of pure joy. "I think there must be something wrong with me, Linus. Christmas is coming, but I'm not happy. I don't feel the way I'm supposed to feel." If you feel like Charlie Brown, you're not alone. Many emotions and situations can leave us feeling less than stellar this season. Just because the calendar turns to December, doesn't mean our troubles and pains are erased. If you're feeling guilty for these feelings you can't feel that sadness, loneliness, or anger itself. Let the feeling come. Cry, shout, and seek comfort in the people around you. Pushing down the feelings or forcing happiness will leave you exhausted and feeling worse.
I've struggled with feeling sad while experiencing happy things in the past. I'd berate myself for feeling sad when I was surrounded by a happy experience. I would compare myself to others in poorer situations and deny the legitimacy of my feelings. It comes down to this, a feeling is a biological, emotional response to your situation, just like a pimple is biological response to the chocolate I devour. I can't stop the pimple, and I can't stop the feeling. What I can do is wash my face and eat less chocolate. I can choose what I think about and focus on. (Or at least get started on this.)
This is the magic I'm still working on: you can feel more than one feeling at once. When I learned that, it felt mind blowing. All my life, multitasking rules as king, but in my emotions, I felt I could only choose one emoji on my face at a time. Instead, I can have a whole pocketful all at once and mix them together. I might be feeling sad, but I can still enjoy my hot cocoa. Shopping might be stressful, but I can laugh a the children begging for presents in line in front of me. That fluidity gives you more peace to experience all feelings that come to you as they come. Sadness becomes mixed with humor, stress, and happiness. It diminishes the sadness a little. If I feel guilty for feeling sad, it only breeds those negative feelings. Best of luck this holiday season on all the feels.
Exponentially Increased Expectations
The 'to do' list grows and grows; cookies, presents, work parties, family parties, pleasantries with strangers, cards, wrapping, cooking, Santa, lights, and so much more. The expectations are high this time of year both from all those around you and yourself. Traditions seem to demand that everything gets done by December 25th, yet our bodies can only take so much. Take a minute to think about how you have changed over the past year and you'll probably find that something is different. Nevertheless, you expect yourself to one-up your last year's holiday.
Take a deep breath. Prioritize your list. Remember "Maybe Christmas (he thought) doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more." [How the Grinch Stole Christmas] Pick what is most important for you this season and start with that. If the rest doesn't get done, find peace in what joy you have created so far. When you take a moment to hear someone's greeting, "Have a Merry Christmas!" and truly take it to heart, you'll remember that you're supposed to be enjoying this season.
If you're worried about the expectations of others, consider what is most important. Sure, the kids might have a list that fills a notebook, but what they really need is your love and attention. The same goes for others in your life. Attention and caring go farther than any present wrapped in paper. If your attention is spread thin, remember to prioritize those who mean most to you.
The Ones Around Us
You might have more or fewer people around you for the holiday which can feel overwhelming or lonely. From January to December, your relationships may have adjusted. Some may experience a loss throughout the year, others a breakup. Or maybe your family has grown with a new child or new relationships in the family. This means your list of presents has changed. It's hard to not feel something when that happens. I hope, for you, that feeling is joy, however many times change can invoke anxiety.
If you've lost someone from a loss or a breakup, there are fewer people to buy for this year. You might miss the person [or people] who have been removed from your list. I've found myself picking out presents as I search for others. I think, "They would like this," as I put the item back on the shelf. This process reinvigorates feelings of grief. You are allowed to feel that feeling. Christmas cannot erase all that is sad in the world and you don't have to either. Allow yourself to feel whatever comes and let it pass. Chastising yourself for feeling a certain way only prolongs the feeling. You can have more than one feeling at a time.
Maybe your family has grown. A new relationship can invite a multitude of new people into your life; new friends, new family members, new people to impress. Take another deep breath and remember it is the thought that counts. For anyone on the list, a simple thoughtful gift is all that is needed. What if they don't love it? What if they think I'm weird? What if I get the wrong thing? First of all, anyone expressing displeasure over your gift can use a lesson in gift receiving. Secondly, give yourself a break. Not every present is perfect. You cannot control another's reaction to your gift. You can control how you choose to feel about that. Don't let the hub-ub of Christmas gift giving get you down. Know in your heart of hearts that you intended to bring that person joy.
Diet-less
Now on to the main course, food. If you've been working on your weight for the past few months, Thanksgiving starts a mine field of dangers. The warm weather limits outdoor time. Pushed into the confines of your home or gym, it becomes more difficult to exercise. Routines change with the seasons and whatever you were doing right, might not be the same for this change in the year. Find a new routine. Yoga in your living room is great [post on this to come]. A nice exercise class might do you some good. An thicker coat and some good boots may allow you to continue your routine through the dropping temperatures. As far as food goes, control what you can and give grace to the rest. If you're a meal planner, don't stop when there are holiday parties that pop up. Plan around them. Also, enjoy the food around you without guilt. Eat your favorite dish, just don't take home leftovers. Lick the cookie bowl clean, but maybe share it with a loved one. The next day, just continue on as normal with your healthy meals and exercise routine. You'll find the disruption didn't mean too much. Pace yourself and learn lifestyle changes instead of diets.
Self Care - Your Own Christmas Gift
I'll encourage self care year round, but especially during the holiday season. The increased stress should also mean an increase in care. You can also buy yourself a Christmas gift as you peruse the stores for all your loved ones. You certainly deserve it. My favorites are as follows:
1. Hot Cocoa & a Christmas movie - I sit on the couch (with the cats of course) and enjoy a nice cup of cocoa. My comfy pajamas make an appearance with the softest blanket I own. I even wear my favorite winter hat to increase the cozy.
2. Christmas Lights - As I drive about at night, I drive a bit slower and down different streets. I admire the Christmas lights and decorations.
3. Read a book - Be it an inspirational book or a novel, I love to cozy up and read a story.
4. Take a nap - See apparel for cocoa and Christmas movie. With the hectic holiday, I allow myself to sleep when I'm home and tired. I don't care if it is 11 A.M. My time is MY time and I can do what I want with it.
5. Listen to music - My Spotify and Pandora play more this time of year than any other. Whether it's Christmas music or even if I need a break to go back to normal music, putting on some tunes in the background inspires me to do what needs done be that relaxing, cleaning, or wrapping.
Merry Christmas!
As you shuffle through your struggles this season, I wish for you to find joy. It might be harder to find for some than for others, but joy can be found in your own way. Remember that the reason we celebrate Christmas is for a wish of peace on earth. If you're religious, Christmas represents the birth of Christ. This symbolizes the birth of hope and peace. I hope you find peace in your own world and in yourself.
Merry Christmas to all!
Maybe your family has grown. A new relationship can invite a multitude of new people into your life; new friends, new family members, new people to impress. Take another deep breath and remember it is the thought that counts. For anyone on the list, a simple thoughtful gift is all that is needed. What if they don't love it? What if they think I'm weird? What if I get the wrong thing? First of all, anyone expressing displeasure over your gift can use a lesson in gift receiving. Secondly, give yourself a break. Not every present is perfect. You cannot control another's reaction to your gift. You can control how you choose to feel about that. Don't let the hub-ub of Christmas gift giving get you down. Know in your heart of hearts that you intended to bring that person joy.
Diet-less
Now on to the main course, food. If you've been working on your weight for the past few months, Thanksgiving starts a mine field of dangers. The warm weather limits outdoor time. Pushed into the confines of your home or gym, it becomes more difficult to exercise. Routines change with the seasons and whatever you were doing right, might not be the same for this change in the year. Find a new routine. Yoga in your living room is great [post on this to come]. A nice exercise class might do you some good. An thicker coat and some good boots may allow you to continue your routine through the dropping temperatures. As far as food goes, control what you can and give grace to the rest. If you're a meal planner, don't stop when there are holiday parties that pop up. Plan around them. Also, enjoy the food around you without guilt. Eat your favorite dish, just don't take home leftovers. Lick the cookie bowl clean, but maybe share it with a loved one. The next day, just continue on as normal with your healthy meals and exercise routine. You'll find the disruption didn't mean too much. Pace yourself and learn lifestyle changes instead of diets.
Self Care - Your Own Christmas Gift
I'll encourage self care year round, but especially during the holiday season. The increased stress should also mean an increase in care. You can also buy yourself a Christmas gift as you peruse the stores for all your loved ones. You certainly deserve it. My favorites are as follows:
1. Hot Cocoa & a Christmas movie - I sit on the couch (with the cats of course) and enjoy a nice cup of cocoa. My comfy pajamas make an appearance with the softest blanket I own. I even wear my favorite winter hat to increase the cozy.
2. Christmas Lights - As I drive about at night, I drive a bit slower and down different streets. I admire the Christmas lights and decorations.
3. Read a book - Be it an inspirational book or a novel, I love to cozy up and read a story.
4. Take a nap - See apparel for cocoa and Christmas movie. With the hectic holiday, I allow myself to sleep when I'm home and tired. I don't care if it is 11 A.M. My time is MY time and I can do what I want with it.
5. Listen to music - My Spotify and Pandora play more this time of year than any other. Whether it's Christmas music or even if I need a break to go back to normal music, putting on some tunes in the background inspires me to do what needs done be that relaxing, cleaning, or wrapping.
As you shuffle through your struggles this season, I wish for you to find joy. It might be harder to find for some than for others, but joy can be found in your own way. Remember that the reason we celebrate Christmas is for a wish of peace on earth. If you're religious, Christmas represents the birth of Christ. This symbolizes the birth of hope and peace. I hope you find peace in your own world and in yourself.
Merry Christmas to all!
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